Challenges

This week has proven to be a little stressful. I think I'm handling it well though. Let's start with the broken stuff:

My hood popping cable (I have no idea if there's a technical term but that's what I'm calling it) is broken. We figured this out by needing to jump start my husbands pick-up because the battery is dead. (mind you, he just replaced the shifter forks in the tranny in this truck that sat for the last year due to being broken down)

Our water pipe to our toilet started leaking due to a break near the shut off valve. Luckily the leak was after the valve so we were able to turn it off until my husband was able to fix it.

Then our dishwasher died, it's been on the brink of destruction for awhile now but we were trying to milk it for as long as possible.

My husbands daily driver truck has been having issues with shifting between first and second gear and yesterday morning it decided get stuck in neutral while he was trying to get on the ramp to the highway to work.


Now onto the children:

Since we brought the girls home from Milton Hershey School they have been a challenge. They tend to disregard the rules, ignore the consequences of their actions and push limits to the end. I know that some rebellion is to be expected and that they have had to adjust to a lot of new things but I feel as though all these new things are good things. Things they should be thankful for and cherish (although I know they are too young to understand what "good" is). I feel as though I'm beating a dead horse though. My youngest daughter is starting to really act out. She's becoming physical now and physical with her sister (which isn't ok) near her brother which is really not OK with me. Today she was fighting with someone at the bus stop. She's grounded for a month from her actions all week. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle right now. They won't keep their rooms clean and I'm not talking spotless, I'm talking mountainous piles of clean clothes, blankets, pillows, etc on the floor. Enough to break your leg if you weren't careful.

I know things take time and these poor kids have been through the mill, but everything I have done for them has been for their best interest. I have lost my temper with them more times than I'd like too and yelling at them is defeating everything I have been working on with them. I realize that with the addition of another child there was going to be some animosity but it's not directed where I thought it would be.

My schooling:

I'm struggling, I'm not making enough time to study. When I do have time to study, I would rather sleep because I'm exhausted! I don't learn well on my own unless it's something that interests me and I'm doing horrible with the exam portions too. I'm going to hang tight though and do my best until December. Then I may take some time off. I'm worried this will mess up my financial aid but something has got to give.

Breastfeeding (err-bottlefeeding breastmilk)

I'm over pumping, I can't keep up with the demand of having to pump every three hours plus the time it takes to feed Rowan every three hours. Between feeding, pumping and washing pump parts I can't get anything done. I have a stash of breastmilk in the freezer and have been supplimenting with formula so I will give Rowan breastmilk as long as I can. I will only pump now until the supply runs out.

Rowan:

He's adorable! I love him to pieces. But I'm afraid of his next phases/trials with EB. I look at his adorable face and I just ask myself why. We have been doing some trials of having his hands and feet unbandaged. His hands are doing extremely well. There is no webbing and the skin is in tact. His feet however are starting to break down again. I can see his heel (the one that has constantly given us issues) is getting agitated and his other ankle is starting to blister as well so the bandages will go back on tomorrow. I'm also concerned with his penis. I believe there is a blister on the healing skin from his circumcision. Although I can't be sure. Sometimes I'm sure it's a blister and other times I'm not so sure. I don't want to leave it alone if it is (because it will grow) but at the same time I don't want to mess with his penis for nothing. Ugh!!! It's so frustrating!


Mom and dad: (As in my husband and I):

We are doing good. We are stressed as life is constantly challenging us with new things and pushing us harder. I'm sure there is a lesson in all of this but I can't even begin to see it. Maybe I don't want to or maybe I just don't have the clarity but hopefully someday it will make sense. We are holding out for some positive news in the future that will hopefully relieve some stress but for now we sit back and enjoy the ride even if it's too bumpy to enjoy.