Anybody that knows me, knows that I'm a talker. I can talk about ANYTHING. I may even switch from 1st gear to 3rd in a conversation without even know it. My close friends and family can keep up most of the time.
Why do I like to talk so much? I don't know but I can tell you this, by me talking to people and sharing some things that others may keep private I learn a lot about myself and others.
The one major thing I have figured out is that in some way everybody has some "skeletons" or similar situations where you can find a relationship and sense of "I'm not alone in this".
I know some people may not feel right sharing certain information and believe me there is some information that I DON'T and WON'T share. But in my case sharing things that some may not has always been my way of coping, and finding understanding when I have come across a challenge I know I cannot handle alone.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Drudging up the past
I logged onto my email this morning to see that I had two new friend requests on FB. One person I thought for sure was some type of spam, hoax or just someone who wanted another friend added to their list. The other was a name I knew, a name I dreaded to see. Then I figured out the two were married.
Why did I dread seeing this name? First, the person has no direct relationship with me, one of their family members and I had the relationship. Second, this person and their family bring out a strong feeling of resentment from me.
I was young, naive and lost. I made a mistake and out of that mistake I gained a stronger sense of self a beautiful daughter and a relentless drive to perservere through the toughest of times without this person or their familys' help. But every so many years they pop up out of nowhere trying to gain some shred of connection. "Why?", is the question I ask and why now after 4 years!?
I'm resentful for the lack of support this person and their family have shown and their strong sense of rightousness they exude when they finally do connect with me in order to have a relationship with my daughter.
I should have mercy, I should forgive, but I won't be a fool.
Why did I dread seeing this name? First, the person has no direct relationship with me, one of their family members and I had the relationship. Second, this person and their family bring out a strong feeling of resentment from me.
I was young, naive and lost. I made a mistake and out of that mistake I gained a stronger sense of self a beautiful daughter and a relentless drive to perservere through the toughest of times without this person or their familys' help. But every so many years they pop up out of nowhere trying to gain some shred of connection. "Why?", is the question I ask and why now after 4 years!?
I'm resentful for the lack of support this person and their family have shown and their strong sense of rightousness they exude when they finally do connect with me in order to have a relationship with my daughter.
I should have mercy, I should forgive, but I won't be a fool.
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