Each Pregnancy's different...

is what you hear all the time. Especially from medical personnel, like you don't know that your body feels different. I think they are trained to say this, regardless of how they really feel.

But in all honesty this pregnancy is far different than the others. With the pregnancy before this one, the one that ended all too quickly I wasn't sick at all but my body was going through some serious changes quickly. Then it seemed to end just as quickly as it came and the symptoms disappeared as well.

Rewind to my first pregnancy, I was sick, so sick. I lost twenty pounds in the first month. I couldn't get out of bed, couldn't function and definately did not want to eat. By 4 months it was gone. My belly grew at a slow pace and I only gained in my belly. When I had Brooke (who weighed 7 lbs 15 oz.) my thighs were smaller than they had been before I got pregnant.

Then to my second pregnancy, I was nauseous but not super sick. I carried really low, and felt a lot of pressure down in my pelvic region. I gained the same amount with this child as I did with Brooke. I swore it was a boy! But it wasn't and what a blessing in disguise! Along came Jaelyn. My chubby 9lb 2 oz baby. (thank goodness for meds!) After her, I did not lose the pregnancy weight. I continued to gain.

Fast forward to my current pregnancy. This one is a huge combination of all three previous pregnancies plus some new symptoms. My belly is huge already as well as some other "parts" but I don't feel as though I am gaining everywhere. I was horribly sick in the beginning and it lasted until 5 months. I thought I was never going to get off the meds. I only lost 7 lbs but only because I was on medicine. As of my last appointment I have only gained 4 of the pounds back out of the 7 I lost. I'm hoping the trend of not gaining a lot continues but I also want to keep the health of my baby in mind. I remembered feeling Brooke and Jaelyn both move around 16-18 weeks. By 20-22 weeks you could feel them from the outside. This time I don't feel as much movement. I was really nervous about this when I went for my 20 week anatomy scan. Here the technician explains to me that I have an anterior placenta. In other words, my placenta attached to the front wall of my uterus, therefore creating a thicker barrier of membrane between the baby and my belly which makes the fetal movement hard to feel. What a huge relief!

I feel as though my hubby is cheated! I can feel the movement, but not as strong as with the girls and poor hubby can't feel anything. I know in a month or two that will proabably change but for now it is sort of disappointing that he doesn't get to experience this with me yet. I will say though that it is the weirdest sensation I have ever felt. I can't explain the feeling of what I do feel other than when the baby hits my bladder or whatever other organ it can hit while he's in there doing his aquatic acrobatics, I get a funny "flicking" sensation.

I feel so blessed to be able to carry this baby and to have it be a boy but I never imagined just how different this pregnancy could be compared to the others. My only curiousity is how will labor go this time!?

The Great Name debate...

...is currently going on in our home.

We're having a boy! Why is it so hard to pick out a name? We only had boys' names picked out but we can't seem to agree on one whole name.

Our initial name would have been Rowan Alexander Shreiner.  BUT  I have this "rule" that we can't use names that are already in the family. So I don't want to use Alexander.

So I decided to scratch the whole name and start over. I think this is the hardest decision ever. I know I didn't have this many issues naming my daughters. So why is naming our son so hard!?

We have names we like, but don't seem to jive with Shreiner. We could make it a junior but again, I don't like naming my kid someone else's name.

We have had suggestions of Logan- but that's my sister's dogs name. Landon- my husband doesn't like. Cole or Colton is a no go- again the hubby isn't into them or we know someone who has that name. I know we can't have a totally unique name that no one else has but we want to stay away from people in our circle of family and friends.

I also have a name association thing, if there was anybody in our lives that we didn't particularly get along with or aren't fond of, we won't use their names.

So we're back to Rowan....but Rowan what!? is the question.

Rowan Avery?
Rowan Knox?
Rowan James?
Rowan Darius?

Any suggestions? Any new ideas?

Names that are definately out are...
*Normal everyday names like Adam, David, Ryan, Lee/Leigh, Samuel, Keith, Thomas and Scott.
*Names already in the family, Alexander, Michael, Remington, Nicholas, Xavier, Cooper, Trenton, Stephen, Charles, and William.
*Others off the list are, Marvin, Claude, Todd, Logan, Landon, Kade, Cammeron, vintage names, totally off the wall names and names of objects, seasons, weather etc.

My own worst enemy...

....is myself.

I don't know how to do things "small". When I plan an event, life, work, school, home, etc. I plan BIG. Sometimes too big!

In the last year I have accomplished a lot and I have fallen back on even more. I took on a new job, continued schooling, planned and pulled off my wedding (with help of course but the planning was all me!) all while attending college near finals and bringing the girls home from private school and acclimating to being a full-time mommy again. I also got the girls enrolled in the local school.

Got pregnant, not once but twice. The first pregnancy resulted in miscarriage which turned my world upside-down. I didn't realize it until now how bad if had affected me, my life, my schooling and most of all my job. I became depressed, unhappy with myself and un-motivated. I couldn't focus at school or at work. I fell behind at work because I knew I couldn't fail school. So now I have to play catch-up which is daunting and makes me feel super-inadequate. I hadn't realized how behind I got until the end of last year and the beginning of this year. There are forms due, audits being performed and me going, "Crud! Where do I start, which should I do first!?"

The second (and current) pregnancy gave me new hope and new fear. I was hesitant untill about 12 weeks along about being excited. Now that I know we are having a healthy little boy I am more excited to move on with life. Making even more "risky" decisions to hopefully make our lives a little less complicated (or possibly more...lol) and give me the opportunity to make money to help support our house and be home at the same time.

But what does that mean!? I have to quit my job, get this place in tip-top shape, no more avoiding the annoyances but facing them full forced. It means a little more anxiety for the moment but not for all time. It means I have to get my a** in gear!

If only I had faced the facts last fall, if only I had realized what burden I was placing on myself of being a mom, a wife, a student, a babysitter, a office manager, and a prego! My brain is mush- I forget things constantly. But I have to push forward. I have to get it all done! I have to focus. I have to have faith in myself and my family to help me pull through. I know I can do this, I've done harder things. But I think I may have overdone some things as usual. :-)

Our Gender Reveal

Wow what a whirlwind this last week has been! We decided a few months ago that we wanted to have a party to share the excitement and joy of finding out what baby number 3 would be. I started to call bakeries to see if they would be willing to do a gender reveal cake and found a lady that was very excited about it.

After scheduling the Ultrasound, we made up invitations that read "Pink or Blue, We have no Clue!" and send them to close family and friends inviting them to join us the Friday after our ultrasound to find out the gender of our little one.

Monday we had an ultrasound to check on baby's growth, any "soft" markers (meaning potential risk factors for cleft lip, organ malfunctions, etc) and of course to find out whether it was a boy or girl. But the hitch was that we didn't want to know the gender then and there. We asked the ultrasound technician to find out the sex and seal it in an envelope for us to reveal at a later date.

Then on Tuesday I delivered the results to the bakery and finalized the plans. We decided that if it was a girl the baker would swirl the cake with raspberry flavoring and if it were a boy the baker would swirl it with blue cake batter.

Friday I picked up the cake and the envelope that had our results. The baker had sealed the envelope back up but I was so tempted to look. But I didn't! (I'm really proud of myself for that!)

After getting the cake, attending some appointments, making dinner and tiding up our house. The guests started to arrive.

We had 40 people here! I didn't count them that night and I don't have pictures of them all but it was crazy! (In a good way) We had 19 children here and 21 adults. The children ranged from 11 months up.

After we knew that we had everybody here we decided to start the celebration.

Once we had everybody's attention we started to cut the cake. Brooke and Jaelyn didn't want to watch.

 Once we cut the cake we learned our surprise! It was blue. It's a boy!

We are super stoked to be adding a little boy to our family. Ready for trucks, cars, dirt, t-shirt and jeans. Ready for baseball, hockey and all other little boy games. :-)

Everybody that attended the party made the event so much more exciting. We are thankful to have the support and love from our family and friends who shared the moment with us. Lots of laughter and joy was shared that night. 

Bring on the the next few months! I'm ready for July already so I can meet our little man.