If you know movies you know where that line comes from. Right now I feel as though my grace had died 20 years ago. I am trying so hard to be understanding, flexible and forgiving but it is a real challenge.
I couldn't tell you when it started or how, but several years ago, I noticed that the loving, caring, ever forgiving Meghan was slowly disappearing. Maybe it was the circumstances of the time, the over-exhausted helping hand that had been bitten too many times or some other trigger; but I have noticed a change in my attitude towards others.
I don't want to be cynical, judgemental or seem uncaring because I do care about people a lot. I care about people I shouldn't have to care about but that is me. So after reading a friends blog, and asking myself over and over again why I seem to pick people apart, I have decided to start seeing the good and helping to lift others and myself.
In all the hardships we all face, we must have faith and with faith should come grace. We should look at peoples' hard work, effort and good intentions instead of seeing their faults. Because God knows...we all have them. :-)
So here's to Grace and the hopes that she's not really dead!
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Great News, New Challenges and a New Outlook.
We have great news! I'm so excited to share. :-) Derek and I have officially decided to bring my girls home from Milton Hershey School. For those of you who don't know about MHS, I'd like to take a moment to tell you about it.
Milton Hershey School was founded by Milton S. Hershey of Hershey Foods Inc. (You know those delicious Hershey Bars, Hershey Kisses etc. Milton and his wife could not concieve children so he took his entire fortune from his company to build a school for orphan boys. Their mission was to assist these boys in having a future, follow God and be successful in education and work. In the last 101 years (They celebrated their 100th anniversary last year.) the school has evolved to change with the times. They school opened it's doors to girls in the 70s (I think) and has been continuing to open it's doors to under privileged and economically challenged students. It is NOT a military school, or a behavioral academy. They provide students with what their parent/s aren't able to provide either financially or recreationally.
I made the decision 4 years ago (before I met Derek) to enroll my girls into the school. I was tired of working two to three jobs to try and provide for them and myself. I rarely saw them and they were practically raised in a daycare (that I was only able to send them to with public assistance). I didn't qualify for much assistance so all my money went for food, housing, transportation and utility bills. I wanted more for them and because I wanted them to have more opportunities and not feel like they never had opportunities. I sacrificed the hardest thing, my time with them. I sacrificed being with them everyday, tucking them in at night, sending them off to school in the morning. I missed every first day of school and missed watching their school events. It was hard, no worse, it was crushing. But not anymore!
In December, Derek agreed to let me take on a PT job in order to save on daycare because we were already in the planning process to bring the girls home after the wedding. I started my PT job the first week in January. The first two months were super stressful due to the fact that I had never done accounting, payroll, filed witholding taxes or been involved with an audit. But I hit the ground running. I got through the audits and I learned quicker than ever and by the seat of my pants.
Then I found out the girls were on the roster to stay for summer school, I didn't want them to have to stay for summer school which shortens their 6 week summer down to just 3 weeks. Summer school at MHS isn't just for failing kids, but also an opportunity to get up to MHS high level of educational standards. So Derek and I decided we would pull the girls out of MHS right before the wedding. It made sense because they would then get to meet new friends where we live and have playmates during the summer. And of course that evolved into, their Easter break was over just a week and a half before the wedding, so it really made sense to just bring them home on April 15. :-)
But with that great news comes a new set of stress, we still have final details to get done for the wedding, my dress isn't done, I have papers and two presentations yet to do before finals week and I have to juggle the adjustment of getting 3 ready in the morning instead of 1. I know I'm ready for it, I just don't know how I'm going to do it. All this gives me a new outlook though, I have watched friends struggle with life obstacles all while working and going to school and raising kids and if they can do it. So can I, especially with the love and support that Derek has given me/us. I have noticed a new sense of calm in me, one that comes from experience that things will always get better and from the knowledge that I am where I'm supposed to be.
Milton Hershey School was founded by Milton S. Hershey of Hershey Foods Inc. (You know those delicious Hershey Bars, Hershey Kisses etc. Milton and his wife could not concieve children so he took his entire fortune from his company to build a school for orphan boys. Their mission was to assist these boys in having a future, follow God and be successful in education and work. In the last 101 years (They celebrated their 100th anniversary last year.) the school has evolved to change with the times. They school opened it's doors to girls in the 70s (I think) and has been continuing to open it's doors to under privileged and economically challenged students. It is NOT a military school, or a behavioral academy. They provide students with what their parent/s aren't able to provide either financially or recreationally.
I made the decision 4 years ago (before I met Derek) to enroll my girls into the school. I was tired of working two to three jobs to try and provide for them and myself. I rarely saw them and they were practically raised in a daycare (that I was only able to send them to with public assistance). I didn't qualify for much assistance so all my money went for food, housing, transportation and utility bills. I wanted more for them and because I wanted them to have more opportunities and not feel like they never had opportunities. I sacrificed the hardest thing, my time with them. I sacrificed being with them everyday, tucking them in at night, sending them off to school in the morning. I missed every first day of school and missed watching their school events. It was hard, no worse, it was crushing. But not anymore!
In December, Derek agreed to let me take on a PT job in order to save on daycare because we were already in the planning process to bring the girls home after the wedding. I started my PT job the first week in January. The first two months were super stressful due to the fact that I had never done accounting, payroll, filed witholding taxes or been involved with an audit. But I hit the ground running. I got through the audits and I learned quicker than ever and by the seat of my pants.
Then I found out the girls were on the roster to stay for summer school, I didn't want them to have to stay for summer school which shortens their 6 week summer down to just 3 weeks. Summer school at MHS isn't just for failing kids, but also an opportunity to get up to MHS high level of educational standards. So Derek and I decided we would pull the girls out of MHS right before the wedding. It made sense because they would then get to meet new friends where we live and have playmates during the summer. And of course that evolved into, their Easter break was over just a week and a half before the wedding, so it really made sense to just bring them home on April 15. :-)
But with that great news comes a new set of stress, we still have final details to get done for the wedding, my dress isn't done, I have papers and two presentations yet to do before finals week and I have to juggle the adjustment of getting 3 ready in the morning instead of 1. I know I'm ready for it, I just don't know how I'm going to do it. All this gives me a new outlook though, I have watched friends struggle with life obstacles all while working and going to school and raising kids and if they can do it. So can I, especially with the love and support that Derek has given me/us. I have noticed a new sense of calm in me, one that comes from experience that things will always get better and from the knowledge that I am where I'm supposed to be.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
A union of two plus two...
The wedding plans are coming along, but I realized today that in all the hustle and bustle of planning "our" big day that I was overlooking a very crucial part of our wedding....
When Derek and I discussed the possibility of marriage we discussed many things "we" wanted. I wanted to have a destination wedding with close friends and family, he wanted a traditional wedding close to home that didn't require everybody to travel somewhere (plus the added cost of the traveling). We decided to have an outdoor wedding in a local park, it was a good compromise for me (and him since he didn't care where we got married, as long as it was local). We discussed who we'd invite, where we would honeymoon and then eventually where we'd possibly buy a house for our family.
When we discussed the "ring", Derek asked me what type of ring I would want. I explained to him that I wanted something different, unique a three stone ring with colored stones, possibly orange since it's my favorite color. He then suggested his idea, "I thought I would get your girls' birthstones put in the ring, because I didn't fall in love with just one girl, but three". I almost cried, but since I "never" cry, I smiled and thought to myself, "where has this guy been my whole life!?"
So a unique, three stone ring with colored stones is what he proposed with. He also saved the diamonds that were originally on the ring to be set into something we would give to the girls, eventually.
So from that point on our wedding plans have been all about joining not just him and I, but all four of us, into one family. When we met with our pastor and told her our plans to include the girls in our wedding ceremony she thought it was great but confided with us that she has never done a family union before so she wanted to do some research. Our honeymoon will be a "family"moon, a trip to Disney for ALL of us to share together.
A website that I have found very helpful is http://www.idotaketwo.com/child_wedding.html there are sample vows for parents and children, unique gifts and advice. I have found several other sites as well just by google searching "family union wedding", "vows for children in wedding", "combined marriages" etc. I have been pleased to find so much on non-traditional weddings but there was something I have been overlooking. That special gift, preferrably a necklace for Derek to present to the girls during the ceremony.
We really had our hearts set on finding them a necklace that had their birthstone in it and the option of adding one of the original diamonds that came out of my ring. That way they would have an original piece of my ring as well and something signifying the importance of them in the wedding and our lives.
So what to get, a heart, a family medallion, a key or something specific to the girls? There are so many possibilities and Derek and I are really struggling to find something we both think is appropriate for them.
So a web searching I will go and maybe even try to find a custom jeweler...but that I fear will be too expensive. I just need to remember to not procastinate on finding something special to share with them on our wedding day because, on May 7, 2011, the spotlight shouldn't just be on Derek and I.
Our love goes deeper than each other, we have pieces of our hearts' in my two daughters. The bond in our family is greater than a man and a woman, it is a union of two plus two.
When Derek and I discussed the possibility of marriage we discussed many things "we" wanted. I wanted to have a destination wedding with close friends and family, he wanted a traditional wedding close to home that didn't require everybody to travel somewhere (plus the added cost of the traveling). We decided to have an outdoor wedding in a local park, it was a good compromise for me (and him since he didn't care where we got married, as long as it was local). We discussed who we'd invite, where we would honeymoon and then eventually where we'd possibly buy a house for our family.
When we discussed the "ring", Derek asked me what type of ring I would want. I explained to him that I wanted something different, unique a three stone ring with colored stones, possibly orange since it's my favorite color. He then suggested his idea, "I thought I would get your girls' birthstones put in the ring, because I didn't fall in love with just one girl, but three". I almost cried, but since I "never" cry, I smiled and thought to myself, "where has this guy been my whole life!?"
So a unique, three stone ring with colored stones is what he proposed with. He also saved the diamonds that were originally on the ring to be set into something we would give to the girls, eventually.
So from that point on our wedding plans have been all about joining not just him and I, but all four of us, into one family. When we met with our pastor and told her our plans to include the girls in our wedding ceremony she thought it was great but confided with us that she has never done a family union before so she wanted to do some research. Our honeymoon will be a "family"moon, a trip to Disney for ALL of us to share together.
A website that I have found very helpful is http://www.idotaketwo.com/child_wedding.html there are sample vows for parents and children, unique gifts and advice. I have found several other sites as well just by google searching "family union wedding", "vows for children in wedding", "combined marriages" etc. I have been pleased to find so much on non-traditional weddings but there was something I have been overlooking. That special gift, preferrably a necklace for Derek to present to the girls during the ceremony.
We really had our hearts set on finding them a necklace that had their birthstone in it and the option of adding one of the original diamonds that came out of my ring. That way they would have an original piece of my ring as well and something signifying the importance of them in the wedding and our lives.
So what to get, a heart, a family medallion, a key or something specific to the girls? There are so many possibilities and Derek and I are really struggling to find something we both think is appropriate for them.
So a web searching I will go and maybe even try to find a custom jeweler...but that I fear will be too expensive. I just need to remember to not procastinate on finding something special to share with them on our wedding day because, on May 7, 2011, the spotlight shouldn't just be on Derek and I.
Our love goes deeper than each other, we have pieces of our hearts' in my two daughters. The bond in our family is greater than a man and a woman, it is a union of two plus two.
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